MoTW---The Darwin Awards
So we're done with our top movie picks of '08 (It's the one titled "Out
Top Ten (or so) Movies of 2008". Notice the first word of that title;
some fucking idiot went ahead and posted it with that stupid, moronic
mistake. They deserve to die or, at the very least, a spanking on their
naked bottom.) Now it's time for our final list, the top music of the
This time it's a little later than usual so we had a chance to
everything new we picked up last year. It also created a little bit of a
rift between us, a rift that got quite violent.
See, we're sitting around our huge mahogany desk in our home office
going through out lists when Bob (of course) mentions an album that came
out years ago that he wants to add. I tell him that's not the way the
lists works and so that slope-headed asshole stabs me in the eye with a
And not a sharpened pencil either. To help with the floundering economy
we got rid of some perks, one of them being pencil sharpeners and the
other being toilet paper (in the words of the boss, "Hey, a drinking
fountain ain't just for DRINKING you know.").
So I pull out the non-sharpened pencil and get really pissed off because
he used a damn pencil and nobody uses pencils anymore so I pick up the
stapler and slam it into his forehead repeatedly. He gets mad then and
leaves the room and calls his wife who comes in and scolds me quire
severely so we call a truce and go back to our list.
And that's how we come up with our lists.
And here's mine:
10) Extreme---Saudades de Rock: Great to have them back. Always liked
them. Nuno is excellent as usual.
9) Bigelf---Cheat The Gallows: This one took me by surprise. I was
checking out music on the internet, read a few reviews, ordered it and
was blown away. ELO, Zeppelin, Floyd and others all mixed together for a
might impressive listen. And they look fucking cool!
8) (tie) Metallica/Testament/Death Angel---Death Magnetic/The Formation
of Damnation/Killing Season: Great music for paint-by-numbers. And they
kinda rock too. Not what I expected. Them to rock. And they're heavy.
7) Jon Oliva's Pain---Global Warning: Another artist that can do no
wrong. All three Pain albums are killer. Yeah!
6) King's X---XV: Their 13th album and, typically for them, fantastic.
One of the few bands that have never put out an album that comes close
5) Uriah Heep---Wake The Sleeper: Am not a huge fan of their 70's stuff,
but "Sonic Origami" and then this almost 10 years later? Wow.
4) AC/DC---Black Ice: Hey it's AC/DC. Their best since "For Those About
To Rock...." and, contrary to the belief of others (who are usually
wrong) no filler.
3) Whitesnake---Good To Be Bad: This one surprised me. I had written
them off 20 years ago or so. Their best album since "Slide It In".
2) Opeth---Watershed: Another band that cannot make a bad album. So
intricate, never boring.
1) Ayreon---01011001: This was a battle (in my mind) between this and
#2. Both fantastic albums, but this one edged it out. Two discs with no
filler. Great to listen to in the dark with those huge 70's type
headphones screwed into your temples.
I debated whether to make the list longer and decided against it. It
will remain the ten listed above.
And then I did this:
Motley Crue---Saints of Los Angeles: Their best since....."Shout At The
Devil"? Nah, I think it's their best, period. Second best if I include
the album with John Corabi.
The B-52's---Funplex: Fun album. Especially like "Juliet Of The
In This Moment---The Dream: Unlike their first album (which was good).
Maria Brink sings (mostly) with "clean" vocals. They're a band to keep
an eye on. "Into The Light" is an incredibly beautiful song.
Queen + Paul Rodgers---The Cosmos Rocks: My favorite band of all time.
Great to see them in ANY form.
Avantasia---The Scarecrow: When I first listened to this I wasn't too
impressed. And then I listened again recently and found out how wrong I
Korpiklaani---Korven Kuningas: Oompah metal music! Crank this up and go
Todd Rundgren---Arena: He said he was making a guitar album and he did.
East Village Opera Company---Olde School: Starts of with the killer
track "The Ride" and then it's kind of a letdown but still good. Good
mix of classical/opera/rock. Check out their first album as well.
Def Leppard---Songs From he Sparkle Lounge---Weird title. "Gotta Let It
Go" reminds me of early 80's Leppard, which is the best.
Rick Springfield---Venus In Overdrive: Man, this after
"shock/denial/anger/acceptance"? He's doing some SERIOUS rocking.
And now, what you've been waiting for. The reason why I was stabbed in
the eye with a pencil and why Bob was beaten (but not stapled, even
though that would have been cooler) with a stapler:
Bob's top albums of 2008 are.........................
1) Menudo---Greatest Hits: Yes, I've picked this before. So what? I
listen to it every day. What's wrong with that? It speaks to me. I'll
stab that asshole in both ears if he doesn't see my way next time......
2) Guns N Roses---Chinese Democracy: I like it because Stephen hates it.
I haven't even listened to it. But I like it. Not as much as Menudo, of
For that I was temporarily blinded? See what I have to put up with?
COMING NEXT: Yep. Those Fearless Predictions!