I'm Too Sexy To Be Cuttin' The Grass

Tyketto---Dig In Deep


MoTW---21 Jump Street




Don't know what it is, but I must look really sexy when I cut the grass.

Think I've mentioned this before and if I haven't, then it's something
new. If I have, it's something old but you'll just have to deal with it.

See, I wear the same thing everytime I cut the grass. The same blue
shirt with of the color on the back fading away due to the copious
amount of sweat I produce, plus the same ratty pair of jean shorts, or
"jorts" for those in the know.

This must be sexy!

Last week a woman was walking by with a baby carriage and she made a big
show of stopping front of the driveway in order to "tie her shoe".
Knowing that she was really checking me out, I did some muscleman poses
just to give her something to dream about.

That's it. Nothing to get THE woman all stressed out or anything. Just
some good, harmless fun.

Think I mentioned last week that the woman checking me out had a nice
ass, but that sounds sexist so we'll just leave it at that.

I continued with my grass cutting and it must have been bonus time
because she came back around again. This time I decided to do the
neighbourly thing and talk to her, using the baby as an icebreaker.

Well, this didn't go over too well when I found out that it wasn't
actually a baby in the carriage, but a large rock with a rather crudely
drawn smiley face done by some idiot with too much time and a box of
crayons plus, to keep up appearances I guess, a rather ratty looking wig
adorning the misshapen rock.
This woman was clearly insane. But still, she had a nice butt. But the
insane thing kept popping into my head so I bade her a good day and
resumed mowing.

This week was a bit different in that rather than one insane chick (with
a nice butt) walking by and checking me out, this time there were TWO
that walked by. Sure they were talking with each other and it seemed
that they weren't paying me any attention at all, but we all know the
real truth, don't we?

So what makes me so sexy while cutting the grass? I don't know. But if
my math is right, next week it'll be four women. Pretty soon I'll take
my rightful place as the neighborhood stud which is the way it should
be.

It's not that I'm full of myself, but I have checked myself in the
mirror while wearing my grass cutting duds and, I must say, I do get
fiercely turned on.


So now I guess I do understand.




COMING NEXT: Fishes, bacon and bones!