MoTW---The Bad Lieutenant: Port Of Call New Orleans
6:00 am: Woke to a new day. Made sure the tv was tuned to TBS to catch
an episode of "Married With Children" then threw on sweats and headed
outside for my morning breakfast of a couple smokes, a diet Dew and
"Under The Dome".
6:25 am: Back in bed watching "Married...".
7:15 am: The woman woke up and took a shower then headed down to get
7:45 am: I decide it's time to take a shower.
8:20 am: All done with making myself pretty. The woman is back and tells
me that there's a busload of Asian students that were the ones making
all the noise at night. Fuckers!
9:00 am: Head over the sister's house. Today we are going to the Jersey
9:20 am: While waiting for sister to wake and feed her spawn, I'm
praying I run into the cast of "Jersey Shore". Just want to fuck them up
10:15 am: We're on our way! I notice that sister's car is making a funny
noise. I tell her this, she basically tells me to shut the fuck up, she
knows, she needs to bring it in to get fixed, blah, blah, blah. Like I
11:30 am: No mishaps on the way. Strange, because I was expecting one.
Oh well. We're at the beach. After almost 30 years, I am back visiting
the Atlantic Ocean!
11:45 am: We find a nice spot, I set up my chair, grab my book and start
12:30 pm: I'm still reading. Do I want to go into the water? Fuck no! I
WANT TO FUCKING READ. The spawn are a little bit depressed about this.
1:30 pm: Great book. Still reading.
2:00 pm: It's voted on and I don't care: everyone wants to go to another
beach. I follow.
2:15 pm: We're at the other beach. I set up my chair and resume reading.
2:45 pm: I think we should leave? Maybe to miss rush hour traffic?
3:00 pm: We leave. My face really fucking hurts.
3:20 pm: I've had to endure a lot of statements on how burned I was.
It'll work it's way down to a nice tan so I don't care. Everyone can
just shut up.
3:25 pm: Stop at McDonald's to get the spawn some ice cream. Pretty long
line at the drive-thru so I recommend that sister goes in because it
would be quicker.
3:40 pm: How wrong I was.
3:45 pm: We leave McDonald's.
4:30 pm: We arrive at sister's house. The woman and I are feeling greasy
and decide we would head back to the hotel, take a shower, change
clothes and then head back to sister's because they was going to be a
barbecue. In honor of me, of course.
4:50: Back at the hotel and we did what was outlined above.
6:00 pm: Headed back to sister's house.
6:20 pm: Started drinking.
6:30 pm - 9:30 pm: More drinking. Folks showed up and we talked about
stuff, ranging from my time spent in prison to politics.
9:45 pm: Someone decided to bring up boxing gloves and soon the spawn
were boxing. It was fun until the older spawn took it a bit too
seriously when the younger spawn was clearly kicking his ass. Then it
was no fun.
10:05 pm: It became fun again when sister and one of her friends decided
they wanted to fight. CAT FIGHT!!!!!!
(Sidenote: A video of the boxing once existed, but it's been lost due to
someone's phone getting drowned. Oh, that was mine? Well I'll be.)
11:15 pm: Everyone left so we decided to leave too. We could have helped
with the cleanup, but it's vacation. So, not going to happen.
11:45 pm: In bed watching Shark Week. Have to get ready for tomorrow
since it's ANOTHER barbecue.
COMING NEXT: Yeah, I know this sucks, but have to continue with it since
it's now a tradition in my own little mind.