Saturday, September 12, 2009

The 2009 Roadtrip: Part 5

Therion---The Miskolc Experience

MoTW---City Of Ember

1:06 pm: My crying is interrupted by a knock on the door. Thinking it's
the authorities and/or some of the remaining hotel management, I run to
a corner of the room and try to hide.

1:07 pm: Someone states that it's housecleaning. I go to the door and
tell her I need no housecleaning, thank you very much. She seems a bit
sad at this.

1:10 pm: Turn on the tv and blankly stare at the screen. Really want a
smoke but don't want to go outside.

1:12 pm: Decide to fuck the rules. Go into the bathroom and light up a
cool, satisfying smoke. Everytime I exhale, I blow the smoke into the
toilet and flush. This will probably work on airplanes, will have to
test out that theory.

1:23pm: Back in bed. Drift off to sleep watching Billy Mays hawk some
product. He's dead but still trying to get me to spend my hard-earned
money on spiffy products. What a guy.

2:50 pm: Wake up freaking out. Forgot I needed to check on the boiler in
the basement.

2:51 pm: As I'm rushing to the door, I hear something that sounds like a
Big Wheel being pedalled furiously down the hallway. I find this a bit
strange and horrifying. I don't know why.

2:53 pm: I get up the nerve to exit the room. I see nobody riding a Big
Wheel, but there's two little girls standing at the end of the hallway
staring at me. I stare back and then get scared and head back into the
room. I jump into bed and pull the covers over my head.

2:54 pm: The scratching on the door starts. The two little bitches I saw
in the hallway want me to come out and play. This really doesn't appeal
to me.

3:15 pm: The scratching finally stops. I discover I need to pee. But
there's something in the bathtub. I just know it. Just a feeling I have.
There's also a feeling of deja vu mixed in. Don't know why.

5:45 pm: I hear something at the door again. I pull the covers really
tight around me. The door opens and the lights come on. I hear "What the
heck?". It's the woman.

5:47 pm; She pulls the covers off me and demands to know why all our
clothes and personal items were arranged in neat rows on the floor. Then
she asked if I had been smoking in the room.

5:50 pm: After blaming housekeeping for the floor arrangement and the
supposed smell of cigarette smoke, I told her about the bitch girls and
the pool room and whatever else I could think of. I told her it would be
a great time to leave and go home. She declined, stating there was much
more shopping to be done.

5:55 pm: To prove her point, the fucktard calls the front desk and
extends our stay. When the call is over she slaps me for thinking that
she's a fucktard.

6:00 pm: The woman decides that it wold be nice if we go out to eat. I
really have no choice, but I decline. She says that I'm going anyway and
that she was going to invite step sister.

6:03 pm: She calls step sister and they agree that dinner would be nice.
They decide that we would meet at Chuck's House Of Oil And Meatstuff on
Bloomfield Avenue.

6:10 pm: I'm ordered to take a shower so I could presentable. I ask why
I need to look presentable, which was answered with another slap plus
another mention of the bible incident. Guess I dug myself a hole with
that momentary lapse of judgement.

6:30 pm: With hair slicked back and my most fancy of Hawaiian shirts and
non-matching shorts on, we are ready to leave. As we're walking down the
hallway, I wonder why the hotel hasn't noticed that it's missing a
couple employees, but it's probably one of those Jersey things.

7:05 pm: After getting lost for awhile, we pull into the parking lot of
Chuck's House Of Oil And Meatstuff. The bus is already there. I figure
this probably won't be much fun.

COMING NEXT: I could write about that roundabout the man built up the
road from us or continue this horror story. We'll see.

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